Today was a much better day than yesterday. I am feeling much more positive. Things are difficult but not as bad as I felt yesterday. I have fallen victim to a trap I warned each member of one of my team’s about.
If you take on roles around things like support, problem resolution, policing you are taking on something that is usually inherently depressing. You deal only with problems, problems that should not have come up in the first place and you take a lot of the blame (whether or not it has anything to do with you). You get the blame for the problems taking too long to fix. And when problems are fixed, you get no thanks (’cause it shouldn’t have happened in the first place). There is little time to reflect on success because you are always facing a mountain of further problems that people are shouting about.
Add changes and misunderstandings into the above mix and you have a recipe for depression, insecurity, madness… well, perhaps not madness. Yet!
I managed a few drinks with a colleague last night in the executive lounge at the hotel (an occasional benefit) and we had a good laugh. He mentioned a book I should read:
|Mindhunter: Inside the Fbi’s Elite Serial Crime Unit
by John E. Douglas
so after our drink, I went back to my room, signed on (ah, the joys of mobile broadband) and purchased an electronic copy for my PDA. Read for far too long (especially given I did not start reading until after midnight) but it did take my mind off things. Another colleague had reminded me earlier in the day that "no one has died, no one has cancer" – putting the pains into perspective. A book about serial killers did so even more especially as the author of the book starts off talking about having a seizure because of over work. Oh, the irony.
Things aren’t perfect, but at least my battery is recharging. (Increasing problems with my knee though is a bad sign… have to keep an eye on it.)